LOL AT MY LIFE

Basically, i need to sort my life out majorly. I shan't rant on about how bad i am at updating this blog because frankly it's bloody boring and no one wants to read about it.

In the summer of 2014, July to be precise, I finished my A Levels, and thankfully passed them all. I can't really see myself going to university in the new future or maybe even at all. Instead I've decided to experiment this year...

So far I have:

• Finally visited Copenhagen 
• Experienced Uni life over a long weekend, which for me was definitely enough for one lifetime
• Had way too many pyjama days
• Got myself a job..

Yes, the last on the list shocked me just as much when it happened! After applying to many unsuccessful part time jobs, somewhere finally got back to be. So, since the beginning of November, I've basically been working full time. However, now my hours have been cut down, I have a lot more time on my hands which is good but also very bad...

On days I'm not working, I'm in front of the tv, in my pjs, wasting my life away...One or two days is great but when it turns into five days in a row, it really starts getting me down..

I am the only person who can change this, and I'm going to. I don't want to work in a shop for the rest of my life. I don't really know what I want to do with the rest of my life, but at nineteen years old, who really does?

My mum is also getting a bit worried and is constantly leaving bookmarked website on her laptop about courses and internships. She's only trying to help, but it's all too much! IM FUCKING SCARED. I don't want to fail but I need to push myself more than I'm doing at the moment. Failure isn't the bad thing, not trying is what's worse...I'm too scared of failure which stops me doing so many things!

Anyway, I've realised that I care about what other people think WAY too much. I've always wanted to have a fashion/food blog and maybe even a Youtube channel, but have never had the confidence or the time to keep them regularly updated. I always thought that all my friends would make fun of me, when in actually fact, I shouldn't care and if they were really friends they wouldn't laugh, they would support me in what I want to do.

Sooooooo, basically, now with a lot of time on my hands, I want to make a proper effort to make this blog what I want it to be.

Cool. I'm almost sure that 95% of this post made sense but I don't really care right now. I just needed to let out how I've been feeling for a few weeks. I might even delete this in a couple of days when my PMS has passed, but for now, I shall read over it a million times and actually try and do something with my life.